


I Wanna Get Better

by grasslandgirl



Category: Superstore (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Dialogue from canon scenes, F/M, Minor Kelly/Jonah, Miscommunication, follows the canon timeline to some extent, no baby/ no pregnancy though, season 3 spoilers!, takes place mid s3 and moves forward from there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-09
Updated: 2019-01-09
Packaged: 2019-10-04 00:02:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17293838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grasslandgirl/pseuds/grasslandgirl
Summary: Sometimes, late at night, when Emma was asleep and after hours of work, Amy would think about it. Think about him. The kiss, the storm, and every moment before and after where she thought he might be looking at her with something more than friendship. Something that made her feel different than how Adam had ever made her feel, even when they were nineteen and fresh off the realization that they were soulmates. Sometimes, Amy would lie alone on her back in her king sized bed, and trail over her memories like photographs in an old family album. Think about what could have been, and what can never be.





	I Wanna Get Better

**Author's Note:**

> hey yall! this is my first time writing for superstore or for jonah/amy so please let me know your thoughts! I watched all of all four (available) seasons over the course of like a week after christmas and then sat down and wrote this in like three days because there is a surprising and disappointing lack of au content in the amy/jonah tag  
> the title comes from the song of the same name by the bleachers, which is def a jonah/amy song and one of the inspirations for this fic; so please give it a listen here ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8twpQTna_9w ) if you're interested!  
> that all said, please enjoy!

Amy believed soulmates were a choice. 

There were always the people who claimed that their marks were destined to happen, or that they were fated to meet their significant other. But Amy, like most people nowadays, believed that finding your soulmate was less about the machinations of fate, and more about love. The adult kind of love. The collections of hundreds of choices- large and small- that made up the decision to fall and be in love. That was when a soulmark would appear. Amy believed they were less a sign of true love, than a symbol of dedication and trust. 

Hers appeared when she was nineteen, when Adam proposed only seconds after she told him she was pregnant. She didn’t even realize it, not right away. There was no great epiphany, no bolt of lightning, she didn’t feel it etch itself onto her skin. But that evening, there it was. A rose, outlined in white, tucked neatly between her shoulder and her collarbone, just above her armpit. Her soulmark. 

She learned the next day, that Adam’s had appeared as well, that he had chosen her just as much as she had him. 

And for nearly fifteen years, it was enough. The knowledge that they had chosen each other. That they believed enough in themselves to love each other for the rest of their lives. For fifteen years that little mark on Amy’s shoulder was enough to assuage any doubts about Adam, fears of getting married too young, questions about rushing into a family. Amy trusted her mark, trusted Adam, trusted her choice for fifteen years. 

Until one day she woke up, and it was gone. 

It wasn’t until that moment that Amy realized that you don’t always realize the choices you’re making. That a pair or soulmarks and faith wasn’t enough to keep a marriage together. 

She kept it to herself as long as she could; most of her shirts covered where her mark would be anyway, and she and Adam hadn’t had the time or the energy to be intimate for a while. She pulled further away, slowly, and she felt Adam drift in the opposite direction. And as much as she wanted to be broken-hearted, wanted to mourn their relationship, miss their marriage, all she could feel was relief. 

It slipped out one day, when she was trying to call him after a pregnancy scare. 

“I’m not happy-” Amy blurted out, “-pregnant! I meant I’m not pregnant!” She paused, her right hand rising to absently touch the place where her soulmark used to be. “But maybe I’m not happy either. Adam, this… I,” she sighed. “My soulmark’s gone. Has been. And this pregnancy scare has made me realize that I  _ do _ want more kids. I just… I don’t want them with you. I’m sorry.” Amy hung up on his voicemail with a soft click, and couldn’t help but feel like everything was different. 

* * *

They tried counseling, they tried living apart; nothing worked. Neither of them were happy anymore. 

The divorce felt less final than she had expected it to. There was no immediate feeling of relief or freedom or grief, just a faint sad nostalgia for what had been. A quiet goodbye to all she had known for fifteen years. But Amy held her head high, and moved forward. 

She tried to focus on herself, focus on Emma, tried to what she wanted and what was best for them; but after fifteen years of depending on someone else, Amy found it difficult to move forward alone. 

And all the while it was there, like a little voice in the back of her head, whispering,  _ Jonah. _

Sometimes, late at night, when Emma was asleep and after hours of work, Amy thought about it. Thought about him. The kiss, the storm, and every moment before and after where she thought he might be looking at her with something more than friendship. Something that made her feel different than how Adam had ever made her feel, even when they were nineteen and fresh off the realization that they were soulmates. Sometimes, Amy would lie alone on her back in her king sized bed, and trail over her memories like photographs in an old family album. Think about what could have been, and what can never be. 

But it would always hit her, like a splash of cold water;  _ Kelly. _

And Amy would remember that she was too late, that the timing was wrong, that anything she thought she saw in Jonah’s eyes didn’t matter anymore. She would roll over into her side, and force herself to fall asleep. 

She tried, with Tate. She felt alone and unwanted and she tried. She tried with Alex, who was sweet and interesting, and who wanted more than Amy wanted to give. She tried; but her eyes always ended up following the back of Jonah’s head. The  knot in her chest tightened as she failed to tear them away. 

If she was being honest, it started too long ago for comfort. At first, he was just the annoying incompetent new guy, but slowly he crept into her life until she couldn’t remember what work- or her life- was like before he got there. Jonah, with his foolish but endearing idealism, with his humor that had her laughing before she even realized what was going on. Jonah, who caught her eye and always seemed to know what she was thinking without having to say it aloud. 

“You know what’s funny?” Jonah asked, leaning against a tarp-covered box in the secret recall room they’d discovered. He held up the can he was drinking from, “We actually drank these in the parking lot at the end of my first day here.” 

“Oh, yeah, I remember that,” Amy replied. It had really only been a few years since Jonah started at Cloud 9, but his first day at the store felt like it had happened a lifetime ago. Amy felt so much older than she had been, even two years prior, with everything that had happening in the interim. The protest, the tornado, her divorce with Adam. But Amy still remembered how the ceiling looked, covered in glow stars. How Jonah had smiled at her, infuriatingly smug, and said only “Moments of beauty?”

Amy didn’t say how she still thought of him every time she saw the sky, covered in a blanket of stars. She didn’t say that Adam had never done something so grand, so selfless, just to see her smile. “God, that was a long time ago.” Amy looked down at the tacky, racist game they were playing, forcing her feelings down into the pit of her stomach, hoping they didn’t show on her face. 

“That was back when you _ really hated _ me.”

Amy frowned, “Come on, I didn’t hate you.”

“Oh, you hated me,” Jonah retorted, just barely grinning. He always seemed to enjoy arguing with her, no matter what it was about. 

“No I didn’t-”

“Oh, ok,” 

“I just thought you were, like, naive and useless.” She said, trailing off. Amy bit back a smile, remembering how clueless he had been on his first day, knocking over piles of toilet paper and stacking soda cans into huge, towering sad emoji faces. 

“Naive and useless?” He repeated, incredulously. Amy hummed in agreement, trying to maintain a cool smirk. “Oh, okay, wow. I can take that. And now?”

“Now?” She repeated.

“Uh huh.” She thought back over their past two years working together. His first Black Friday, the protest and strike they put together, Jonah helping Emma through her first period, when he stood by her when she fired Marcus, and every time he went out of his way to help someone else. 

“Same.” 

“Okay-”

“But!” She continued, cutting him off, “I… am not so bothered by it.” 

“See?” Jonah laughed, “I grow on a person!”

“Or wear them down, whichever you prefer,” Amy argued, but she knew he had grown on her over the years. Maybe a little too much. 

“Either way, there’s some sort of a progress happening here.”

“Progress, that’s right.” She conceded, looking back down at the game board, forcing her eyes away from Jonah.

“And, you never know, one day you might even  _ like  _ me.” He said, and laughed at his own joke.

Amy looked up, catching his profile as he looked down at the cards in his hands. Something caught, deep in her chest, and she granted herself a single second to stare at him, appreciate everything he’d done for her, imagine what it would be like to lean over and kiss him, just as she had done nearly a year before. “Ah,” She said, a small something between agreement and a laugh, and the pit in her stomach grew deeper. 

* * *

“Hey, Rodriguez,” Dina snapped her fingers in front of Amy’s face, “pay attention, I’m talking.”

Amy ripped her gaze away from Jonah, who was miming with some teenage  _ Barbarian’s Gate 3 _ fan’s sword, a handful of yards down the aisle from where she- and now Dina- were standing. She gripped her hands a little tighter around the game he had just given her, scammed from some kid for her benefit.  _ He’s always doing things like this, _ she thought,  _ little things that mean the world to me, or Garrett, or Glenn, just because he knows it’ll make us happy. _

“What,” Dina scoffed, following her eyeline to Jonah, now walking away, “have you got a crush on Jonah or something?” 

Amy looked at Dina, half dazed, and had a realization.

She didn’t remember when exactly her feelings for Adam changed from  _ cute-footballer-I-flirt-with _ to  _ full-blown-like-like-crush. _ It was so many years ago, and she had been so young and headstrong, always running into things too fast. It was part of the reason she was always trying to make Cheyenne slow down; she saw too much of herself in the younger girl, and she wanted better for her than a dead end retail job and a broken marriage. 

But Amy didn’t think her feelings for Adam had been like this. What she remembered from high school was a sense of  _ why not _ with Adam, a feeling of  _ maybe there isn’t a lightning bolt moment, but he likes me, and that’s enough _ . There was never  _ this _ . There was never a feeling of falling for two years until  _ now _ , when she hit rock bottom with a realization- a realization she was sure she had known for a long time already. 

“Yeah,” She said, after a slow exhale, “I think I do.” 

Later, she would laugh that her long-awaited moment of epiphany had been due to Dina, of all people. Later, she would play  _ Barbarian’s Gate 3 _ alone, in her pajamas, and imagine Jonah sitting next to her, failing miserably at the game and laughing loudly. Later, she would cry in her bedroom, half about being alone, and half about crying over a boy like a highschooler. 

Later, she would change and find a new tattoo, a new  _ soulmark  _ in firm and definite black spread across her ribcage. A falcon- she was pretty sure, from a quick google search- with its wings spread wide in flight. 

But for the moment, all Amy could think was:  _ I’m fucked. _

* * *

“Maybe you’re in love, then.” Pastor Craig said, gesturing between Amy and Jonah. 

“No, no, we’re not in love,” they chorus, nearly in unison, carefully not looking at each other.

“So you say,” Craig said, taking a few steps closer, “but, Lord, I’m sensing something going on right here.” He swept his arm in a wide arc between the two of them, and Amy pursed her lips, shaking her head. “Y’all feel that?” He asked, and of course the whole break room felt it necessary to chime in with hoots and words of agreement.

“Woohoo,” Kelly said, sarcasm dripping from her usually perky voice, “this again.”

“No, uh, actually,” Jonah chimed in, leaning slightly towards Kelly and looking over his shoulder to Craig, “We’re-  _ we’re  _ dating.” Jonah reached out his hand to point towards Kelly. “So.”

“Oh, I see.” Pastor Craig’s voice had lost some of it’s enthusiasm, “tire gauge girl. Okay.”

“So, what is it, guys?” Garrett piped up, “Love or lust?” Amy could feel everyone’s eyes on her and Jonah, she tried her best not to squirm under the almost physical weight of it. 

“It doesn’t matter!” Glenn cried from the front, “Even if they were soulmates,” Amy’s heart clenched, “it doesn’t make it okay!” Amy bit her tongue, frustrated that Glenn was so hung up on a tiny kiss between her and Jonah at the end of her marriage. More than that, though, Amy hoped the group would ignore the topic of soulmates. No one but her knew about her new mark. She wanted to keep it that way. 

“Look, Amy and I are not soulmates, ok?” Jonah said, rising from his seat. Amy blinked, reeling slightly from the new information. Amy knew better than to hope for Jonah to feel the same way she did, much less to have a mark like hers. But it was one thing to believe something, it was another to have someone irrevocably say you weren’t soulmates. “Yes, fine,” Jonah continued, thankfully unaware of Amy’s shattering heart. “When I first started working here,  _ years  _ ago, I- I had a little crush on Amy.” Everyone burst into murmurings across the room. 

“Exactly.” Amy said, rising to stand beside Jonah and address the room, “And at one point, I had a crush on Jonah, and that’s all in the past.”

“Exactly! Wait, what did- you... when did you... did.... what- you… yeah. No. Never mind. Doesn’t matter, doesn’t matter.” Jonah mumbled rapidly and gesturing agitatedly. “Because if- even if- because it… with the timing and everything- it’s- yeah. So, you get it. So.. stop!” He ended abruptly, with a short and awkward little laugh.

The break room hung in silence as everyone- Amy included puzzled through what had just happened. 

_ He liked me? _ Amy thought, baffled, _ and he didn’t know I liked him? What the fuck, Jonah? _

“He didn’t know!” Sandra gasped, dazed.

“Do you still love each other?” Someone asked from the other side of the break room.

“What?” 

“No!” Amy and Jonah burst out almost simultaneously. “We’ve moved on!” She said, hoping that if she believed it enough, that it would be true. 

“Uh huh! Uh huh, uh huh.” Jonah piped up beside her, continuing his rambling tangent. “And- and anyway! It doesn’t matter, we’ve- we’ve all, you know- and, and- and besides, you know, I’ve, I’m with- I’ve got, I’m with, uh,” he gestured wildly towards Kelly, sitting slightly behind him.

“Kelly.” She said, arms crossed, and with a tone that would have made Amy respect her more, if she wasn’t going through the same struggle internally that Jonah was aloud.

“I’m with Kelly.” He says, triumphantly, “Yeah, no, I- I know your name, obviously.” 

“She didn’t know that he didn’t know,” Sandra moaned, continuing her dazed revelation from before, as the rest of their coworkers chimed in with questions and comments. “And now he knows, that she knows-”

“We fucking  _ get it, _ Sandra.” Kelly said, cutting across the chaos and pulling them all into a sort of stunned silence.

Amy saw Jonah slowly lower into his chair out of her peripheral vision.

_ Oh _ , she thought, a little belatedly,  _ okay then. _

* * *

_ “You can always find a reason not to do anything. And if there is stuff you want to do, do that stuff.” _ Dina’s voice echoed in Amy’s head. 

As much as she was surprised to admit it, Amy knew Dina was right.  _ If I spend my entire life on excuses, I’m never going to do or get anything I really want. I am a grown ass woman; this stops now. _

She walked in, and there he was- right where Garrett had said he’d be- picking up tiny pieces of garbage and shoving them into an almost comically large garbage bag.

“Hey.” She said, and Jonah looked up and smiled at her.

“Hey.”

“What happened here?” Amy asked, walking further into the room.

“Oh, you know how crazy gender reveal parties get.” He took a few steps towards her, and threw a full trash bag into the dumpster beside them.

“Yeah.” She had closed almost all the distance between them, he was close enough that she would barely have to move to touch him. Jonah was smiling, the after effects of some joke he made that she must’ve missed. He was staring at her- he was always staring at her, it felt like- but this was different. He wasn’t watching her, waiting to catch her eye to make some quiet joke or comment, he wasn’t watching her as she yelled and ranted, he was just staring at her. Quiet and unguarded and slightly confused as she- painstakingly slowly- leaned closer. 

Some mix of confusion and awareness dawned in his eyes and his gaze flickered down to her lips and back up, asking an unspoken question:  _ What are you doing? _

_ This, _ Amy answered, just as silently; and slowly, deliberately, closed any remaining distance between them.

This kiss was different from the past two. The first was all adrenaline and fear and the decision that if they were going to die, they wanted  _ this  _ first. It was harsh and demanding and left no room for questions, much like the storm that had surrounded them. The second kiss- if you could even call it that- had been abrupt and unexpected and lingered longer than it should have. It lasted only seconds, but it still managed to last both too long, and not long enough.

This was different.

This was intentional, on both of their ends. This was slow, and measured, and solely about the fact that they  _ wanted this _ . Both of them.

This was Jonah threading his hands into her hair, Amy grabbing onto him like a lifeline. This kiss was different and so much  _ more  _ than any kiss she’d ever had with Adam. 

After an eternity, she pulled away. Jonah’s lips trailed just barely against her forehead as she lowered her face and took a step back. There was a moment where neither of them said anything. Where they both let the moment hang in the air around them, where they could pretend that nothing stood between them. 

“I, uh-” Jonah, of course, was the one to break the silence.

“You’re my soulmate.” Amy said, cutting him off. This was the other thing she wanted to do; the other thing she had made excuses for too long about. Now everything was out in the open, and up in the air. 

The confusion from before was back, “What- I, how long…?”

“A while.”

“Oh.” And for once in his life, Jonah appeared to be at a loss for words. “I don’t- I don’t know what I’m supposed to do… with that.” He said slowly. 

“I don’t know.” 

“Why’d you kiss me?” He asked. The unspoken  _ now  _ hung heavy in the air. 

“I just- I wanted to.” Amy said, like it was that simple. 

In some ways, it was.

He scoffed quietly. Not in a dismissive way, but as though he couldn’t understand, couldn’t believe. “I can’t even-” he paused. 

Jonah shook his head slightly, and walked past her towards the door. Halfway across the room he turned, “You know what?” He started, and then stopped again, “No. Forget it.” He turned again and kept walking. He paused again at the doorway, like he was going to say something, but only shook his head. “Nope.” He walked out the door.

Amy had imagined telling Jonah a million different ways. Some ended well, some ended poorly. But she never thought he would just walk away without saying anything.

Somehow, the silence hurt more than any words could have.

* * *

“Hey,” Jonah said carefully, walking into the breakroom. Amy was sitting alone at one of the tables; it was the end of the day and everyone else was in the store watching some movie presentation Glenn had put together. Amy hadn’t really felt up to sitting thorough another dozen rounds of interrogation from Sandra and Justine and everyone else who felt entitled to her personal life. It had been a long day.

“Hey,” She said politely, fingering the ripped up napkin someone had left on the table.

“Look,” Jonah clasped his hands in front of him, almost defensively, “I’m sorry if I reacted poorly yesterday-”  _ Yesterday. When I kissed Jonah, told him he’s my soulmate, and he walked away without explanation. _ “I think I was just caught by surprise and-”

“Look,” Amy interrupted him. “Can we maybe not do this right now?” Jonah raised his eyebrows. “I’m sorry; I just- it’s been a really rough day. And I don’t know how much more I can take.” She ended with a forced little laugh, hoping to cover the exhaustion in her voice.  _  I don’t want to have to explain myself for the twentieth time today.  _ She thought, _ I don’t want to know you’re choosing Kelly. I don’t want to hear you tell me I’m not your soulmate. _

“Okay,” He said, and shook his head a little. 

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“What? I said okay.” Jonah said in the same tone Emma used whenever she was acting pissed and petty. It drove Amy up the wall.

“No,” Amy corrected him, “you said  _ ‘oh-kayyy.’ _ ” 

“Well, it’s just- it’s a little annoying, you know. You waited to talk to me all day, and when  _ I’m  _ ready it’s just like,  _ ‘Nah.’ _ It’s what you want, when you want it.”

“Alright, well, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, Jonah, but I’m sort of going through some things.” Amy said defensively. 

“Yeah, I get that, you know. I guess I’m just saying, everybody has problems-” Jonah started in his voice that meant  _ I know better than you and I have the moral high ground. _

“Oh, really? What are your problems, Jonah? Did the farmers market run out of your yogurt? Or your _ New Yorker _ came late this month?” 

“The _ New Yorker _ is weekly,” He corrected her, and Amy scoffed because  _ of course _ that’s what he chose to focus on. Of course he felt the need to correct her on something so tiny. “And, yeah,” He continued, “fine, okay. Maybe you have a little more stuff than I do-”

“A _ little more _ stuff?”  _ Is he fucking with me? _

“-But that doesn’t mean that you get to just dismiss anything I say.” 

“Oh my god, cry me a river.”

“This is what I’m talking about! You  _ love  _ playing the martyr! You get to just judge everybody else, and no one gets to criticize you on  _ your  _ shit.”

“Are you  _ really  _ that pissed off that I kissed you?” Amy burst out.

“No. I’m pissed off that I waited around for you for _ two years, _ and you wait until  _ I’m _ in a relationship to kiss me.”  _ Two years? _ A tiny voice in the back of her head whispered, but Amy paid it no heed. 

“Who asked you to wait around?” She asked, raising her voice to match Jonah’s. “I don’t even know what you’re still doing here, Jonah. You can leave whenever you want!”  _ Why are you here, _ she wanted to ask,  _ why did you stay if you think you’re so much better than me? Than all of us? _

“So could you, but  _ we all know that’s never going to happen! _ ” He all but shouted, and Amy froze. 

Deep down, Amy always knew Jonah didn’t understand.  _ Couldn’t  _ understand what her life was like, the decisions and sacrifices she had to make. Maybe part of the reason she fell in love with him was how he always pushed her to go after the things she wanted, pushed her to put herself first every once in a while. 

Amy had tried to ignore it, but she always knew that Jonah didn’t understand that she had people that depended on her, that needed her. That she couldn’t afford to walk away from a regular job- even one as shitty as Cloud 9- just to go after an education or a flimsy dream. She had a kid, a family, people that relied on her for just about everything. 

And that was something Jonah- pretentious, well meaning, optimistic, entitled Jonah Simms- could never fully grasp. 

“Go to hell, Jonah,” was all Amy could say as she pushed past him and stalked out of the break room. 

* * *

“You know what the worst part is?” Amy asked, leaning against the door to the photo room as Jonah hauled in the signs from the CEO’s town hall meeting. “That I was stupid enough to believe that something might actually work out in this store.” Neil had played them, or Laurie had, or Jeff had, or all three of them had. Either way, Jeff walked out of the meeting with a new job, and Myrtle hadn’t. 

“I always kind of feel like things are going to work out,” Jonah mused, moving to lean against the counter.

“Yeah, you do, don’t you?” Amy grinned, “What’s wrong with you?” Jonah laughed a little, and Amy felt everything shift a little closer back into place. She poked fun at his idealism, he laughed and teased her back, it almost felt like things were going back to how they were before. Before she realized she was in love with him, before he started dating Kelly, before she kissed him, before their fight. 

They settled into an almost-comfortable silence, working side by side to put away all the signs and things from the livestreamed meeting. Everything said and unsaid hung in the air, as it had since their kiss, but they both managed to ignore it.

“Hey,” Jonah said after a while, calling her attention away from where she was logging something in an inventory binder. “So, are- are we okay?” He asked, an assortment of emotions- concern, vulnerability, uncertainty- flickering across his face.

Amy sighed. At this point, all she wanted was for things to be normal again between them. She missed her best friend. ‘Look. Uh, why don’t we just start over?” 

Jonah nodded, “Fresh start?”

“Fresh start,” she agreed, and turned back to the binder. “Ok, so-”

But before she could finish her sentence, she felt Jonah’s hand comb into her hair and- gently, oh so gently- turn her head to meet his. 

And then they were kissing. It was short, and clear, and communicated everything they both wanted to say without a word.

_ I’m sorry. _

_ I still care about you. _

_ I want this. _

_ I would have done this ages ago if I could have. _

_ I  _ should  _ have done this ages ago. _

_ I care about you. _

And then they broke apart, and for a second, Amy was scared of what she’d see in Jonah’s eyes. That she would see confusion, or fear, or guilt like there had been the times before. This time, there was none of those things. Only a calm, unwavering certainty.

Amy leaned in and kissed him again. 

Harder, this time, because she wanted to, and she knew he wanted to, and because they  _ could _ . She stepped forward and he stepped back and she pushed him against one of the counters, already reaching to pull off one or both of their vests. She wanted to touch him, all of him, she wanted to feel his skin on hers and for the first time she knew she could. So she did.

The vests were off in what felt like seconds, and then Jonah was pushing her backwards and lifting her up to sit on one of the counters, standing between her legs. He started pulling on the buttons of her shirt, and she followed suit, struggling with what seemed like thousands of tiny blue buttons, trailing down his chest. 

“Oh my god,” Amy mumbled between frenzied kisses, “how many buttons do you have?” 

“A lot,” he answered, in a voice so soft and heady that she pulled his face back to hers without hesitation. Soon, both their shirts were off and Jonah was leaning her down on her back on the counter, and climbing up to lean over her and all Amy could think was  _ fucking finally _ . 

And then, suddenly, Jonah pulled away from her, sat up with a soft gasp. One arm posted behind him, the other touching her ribs- feather light and gentle- right where Amy knew her soulmark was. He stared at it, fixated, almost in awe, and traced his fingers over it so lightly it almost tickles. “A falcon,” He breathed, “I- you… is this…?”

“Yeah.” 

“Oh.” If Amy didn’t know better, she would say Jonah sounded almost reverent. “You know, in some cultures, falcons symbolize freedom-”

“Jonah.” Amy cut him off, and leveled him with a look that said, rather succinctly,  _ really? _

“Right.” And with little further fanfare, Jonah leaned back in and they were kissing again, and it was  _ fantastic _ . Until Jonah pulled away, again. 

“What?” Amy asked, confused and more than a little irritated. This time, after he pulled away, Jonah was scanning her face.

“I need to show- uh, tell you something.”

“What?” She repeated, but differently this time; softer, matching Jonah’s sudden vulnerability. 

He just shook his head, and moved so one of his legs was in front of him, his knee up between them. Jonah glanced up and caught Amy’s eye for only a second before abruptly pulling off his shoe.

Of all the things Amy had expected Jonah to do after interrupting their impromptu make out session, removing his footwear wasn’t one of them. He threw the shoe to the side, onto the floor and off the counter where they both were still sitting- or, in Amy’s case, partially laying- rolled up the leg of his khakis/ and pulled down his sock, exposing his ankle.

And there, in bright yellow and black, spread across his ankle was a tattoo of a sunflower. Amy stared at for a second, uncomprehending. She could feel Jonah watching her, waiting for her reaction.

“Is that…”

“Yeah.”  _ A soulmark. _

“How long have you-”

“Two years.” He answered, without hesitation.  _ Oh _ .

_ Oh _ . 

“What about…” Amy didn’t even want to say it aloud, but she looked up and met Jonah’s eye anyway.  “What about Kelly?”

Jonah sighed, leaned back a little further, and looked off to one side. He shook his head. “I don’t know; either she never noticed, or never asked.”

“So-” Amy almost couldn’t bring herself to ask.

“It’s you.” He answered, and met her eyes earnestly. “It’s always been you.” 

“Okay.”

Jonah, grinned, bright as the sun, and Amy wondered for a second how it had taken them this long. She sat up onto her knees and pulled his face to hers, until they were kissing again.

“You know-” Jonah said between kisses; his lips on hers, his on her neck, her collarbone, hers on the space where his neck met his jaw, “Sunflowers can symbolize-”  _ Kiss _ . “Adoration-”  _ Kiss _ . “Dedication-” 

“Jonah.” She pulled away and fixed him with a breathless grin, “Shut up.”

And for once in his life, he did.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!! comments and kudos always mean more than you will ever know, and if you enjoyed this please take a look at some of my other fics, or give me a shout over on my tumblr @grasslandgirl ! i'd love to hear your thoughts/feelings about this fic or about jonah/amy in general; and i'm always interested in prompts!!  
> xoxo


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